First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
