Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
