I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
