I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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