It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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