now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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