OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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