I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
