Is it because I queefed?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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