A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize