Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
