Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
