Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
