Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
