I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
