Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have aggressive nipples.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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