haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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