I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
