Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
