Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
