My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
