The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize