she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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