I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
