I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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