im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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