I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize