I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
