:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
