DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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