shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
