I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
