He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
