Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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