I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
