By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
