my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize