Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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