I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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