and i looked up. we had an audience...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
