I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
