Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
