I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
