Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what day is it and did you see me today?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
