Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
