my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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