At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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