I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
