he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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