Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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