I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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