I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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