I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
