Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
