4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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