I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
