Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
