I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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