already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
