i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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