I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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