you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
