Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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