I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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