He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
